I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
