i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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