I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
