Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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