i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
