My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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