i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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