Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
