She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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