That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
