so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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