shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
