I cockslap morals
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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