Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
