Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize