How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize