You surviving the open bar?
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i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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