I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
