im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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