did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
