we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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