i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
