Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
