he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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