Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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