If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
