Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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