You're my little dorito
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
