when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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