normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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