UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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