you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
