2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
