apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
