I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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