ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
