oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
