How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
