My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize