well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
