I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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