No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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