Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
