Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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