Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
