Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
