their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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