I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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