My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
