we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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