That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
