3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
