How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
