I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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