i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
