Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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