You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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