he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
