so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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