I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
