my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
